physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
