I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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