This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
