if you like me you must not know who I am
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
