He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
