accomplished twins. life is a go
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
