I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
