don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
