the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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