So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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