he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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