What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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