Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
