Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
