You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
