Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
