i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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