are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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