she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
tell me about the fingering
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
