end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
