Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
