Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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