there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
