Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
