some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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