Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Someone came in the potted fern
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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