The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
