you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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