Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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