Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dignity is for republicans.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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