How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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