so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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