im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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