You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
