I just threw up on my dentist
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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