careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
