4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
