His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I have post one night stand depression
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