Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
