Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
