i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
