In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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