no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
