if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
