I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
