Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my shit smells like andre
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
