I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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