So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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