better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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