with your own penis?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
