i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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